


And in That Sleep of Death

by Mara



Category: Kamen Rider OOO
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 11:24:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3172518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mara/pseuds/Mara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dreams always started the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And in That Sleep of Death

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Kamen Rider Kink Meme.

The dreams always started the same, with Shintaro finally feeling the power of Birth, screaming defiance as the energy coursed through him, just as he'd desired. And then things went horribly wrong...but in so many different ways.

Sometimes Date died after Shintaro had battled off the last Yummy. Sometimes Shintaro turned as he was dealing the final blow, just in time to see Dr. Maki shoot Date. Sometimes, the worst times, Shintaro felt himself go mad and kill Date himself, with a gun or even his bare hands.

As Gotou Shintaro lay in his bed, panting and trying not to throw up, he wondered why he never dreamed things in the order they'd happened in real life. Why didn't he see Date die _before_ he used Birth? Why didn't he ever dream about Date opening his eyes and showing that he was really alive?

Stumbling into the bathroom to rinse his face, he decided it probably didn't matter, because watching Date die in his dreams several times a week was going to be bad no matter how near or far from reality.

He stared at himself in the mirror and winced at how awful he looked. In fact, he looked almost as bad as he felt. It was going to take a lot of coffee to get through the day.

At some point there wasn't going to be enough coffee in the _world_. Shintaro had no idea what he'd do then.

* * *

And then they won. The good guys—or at least the not-quite-as-bad guys, Shintaro thought as the victory party went on—won and the Greeed lost. Ankh had sacrificed himself, but Eiji and Hina seemed sure he'd be back somehow. Shintaro smiled politely and chose not to disagree with them.

Winning should have meant no more nightmares, Shintaro thought later that night as he sat on his couch, shivering under a blanket and staring at an unopened bottle of nihonshu. He could drink himself into oblivion now, he supposed. No more need for Birth, so he wasn't on call. He hadn't gone back to work as a police officer yet. Nobody would care if he drank enough to sleep through the night. Or even several nights.

Slowly, he reached out, but an unexpected knock on his door nearly made him knock over the bottle. He stared at the door in confusion long enough for whoever it was to knock again. Shintaro stood, automatically straightening his pajamas as he went to look through the peephole.

He opened the door immediately when he saw Date waiting on the other side. "What...?" he started, pausing as he realized he didn't even know what to ask.

"You look terrible," Date said, frowning down at him.

"You came to my door in the middle of the night to tell me that?"

"Sort of." Date shrugged. "Can I come in?"

Shintaro stepped back, gesturing wordlessly. He found himself glad he'd straightened up recently, although he couldn't imagine Date would judge him harshly for a little clutter.

"Ah, I was just about to have a drink." Shintaro waved at the bottle on the low table in front of the couch. "If you'd care to join me."

Date nodded. "I'd love a cup. And maybe you should get one for yourself. I don't usually recommend drinking straight from the bottle."

Flushing, Shintaro ducked his head and went to get two cups out of the cabinet. Damn it, what did the man expect when he barged in like this? Maybe Shintaro just hadn't gotten a cup yet. Or something.

When he turned around, Date had sprawled across half the couch; as always, taking up more room than even his large frame should be able to. Leaning forward, Date opened up the bottle and took a cup.

Filling it, Date handed it to Shintaro, who took it and the bottle, automatically filling the other cup for Date.

Shintaro gingerly sat down on the couch as well, sipping at the drink, which was surprisingly good. He tried to remember where the bottle had come from, since he drank so rarely. Perhaps President Kougami had given it to him at some point?

"Gotou?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you hear my question?"

"Er...no." Shintaro felt his face get warm again. "Sorry."

"I asked if you were also having trouble sleeping."

"No, of course not."

Date just nodded and took another sip from his cup. Shintaro reached over with the bottle and topped his cup off, Date nodding his thanks.

"I'm glad the surgery was a success," Shintaro said eventually, after his own cup had been topped off. A few times. Not that he'd lost count, of course.

"Me too." Date looked at him over the rim of the cup as he leaned against the arm of the couch. "I wasn't sure it would be." His words were coming out more slowly now. "Which is why..."

Emptying his cup, Shintaro waited. "Why what?" he asked eventually.

Date shook his head. "Nothing. We drank too much to have a serious conversation."

"Not that much. Just a bottle between us." Shintaro nodded carefully.

Date laughed softly. "Trust me, I'm a doctor. I know when I've drunk too much. I also know you've drunk too much."

Shintaro decided that if that made sense then he _had_ drunk too much. "We both need to sleep," he said. "Here." He pulled the blanket he'd been huddling under earlier off the back of the couch. "Lie down. You should sleep here."

Date looked at him for a long moment before taking the blanket from him and shaking it out. 

Shintaro stood, proud when the room didn't spin even the tiniest bit. "Night."

"Good night," Date said, his eyes following Shintaro as the latter turned out the light and went into the bedroom.

* * *

"Gotou!"

Someone was screaming. Someone else was calling his name.

Shintaro felt strong hands grip his shoulders and he realized that Date was calling his name. Which meant...Date wasn't the one screaming.

Gasping for breath, Shintaro tried to pull away, but he felt like a wet noodle as Date held onto him, fingers digging in painfully. "Gotou!"

"Date. I..." His voice was hoarse and he wondered how long he'd been screaming. Damn it, the alcohol was supposed to stop this from happening.

"Can you hear me now?"

"Yes."

The fingers loosened slightly but didn't let go and Date sat back on his heels, studying him. "That was quite the nightmare."

"Yes."

"Want to tell me about it?"

"No."

Date let go, but didn't leave his bed, just sat down cross-legged in front of him. "I'm no psychiatrist, but you've certainly encountered plenty of nightmare fodder this past year."

"I'm fine." Crossing his arms, Shintaro tried not to pout.

"Now I know why you looked so terrible. How long have you been having these dreams?"

"I said I didn't want to talk about it."

"True. You did." Date crossed his own arms, looking like an enormous immovable statue. "Do you have them every night? Sleep is very important you know."

"Go. Away."

"There are some medications I can prescribe, if necessary. But it's probably best to start with rooting out the cause."

"No."

"You don't have to give the details, but if you could describe when it started—"

"I'm dreaming about you dying!" Shintaro said, his voice louder than he'd intended.

Date's mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again. The generally unflappable man looked utterly astonished, his eyes bulging and mouth gaping.

"I remember you faking your own death and dream that you died for real. Sometimes it's me that kills you. That's why I can't sleep." Shintaro couldn't stand to look at him, so he stared down at his hands, which were shaking. Ridiculous. He could face monsters and near-death experiences with no problem, but some rice wine and a friend and he turned into a shivering idiot.

"Ah." This was probably the first time in Shintaro's memory that Date had ever sounded unsure about anything. "I'm...sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just go away and let me feel like an idiot in peace." Shintaro scrubbed his face with his hands, jumping when he felt Date's hands pull his away. 

"Look at me."

Swallowing, Shintaro looked up.

"I'm alive. Thanks to the surgery, I plan to stay that way for a great many years."

"Good."

Date took a breath. "I really am sorry. You needed one last push to become Birth before I could leave. I was only thinking of that. It was selfish of me."

"You pretended you were _dead_. I thought I was taking the driver out of your _dead hands_."

"I didn't think it would bother you that much."

It was Shintaro's turn to stare, jaw gaping. "You..."

The moonlight coming through the window wasn't much, but it looked a lot like Date was blushing as he looked away. "I didn't really believe the surgery would work," Date said, his voice soft.

Shintaro froze.

"I wasn't as confident as I was pretending, so I tried to stay detached from everyone. I didn't want anyone to miss me when I was gone."

"You _idiot!_ " Shintaro felt a sob welling in his throat and he forced it down. 

"It's been...pointed out." Date paused. "By pretty much everyone at this point."

"That's why you came tonight."

"Somewhere around the point Satonaka started sending me annoyed texts, I realized I had to see you."

"To apologize."

"And..." Date was definitely blushing now. "And to do this." He leaned forward and all Shintaro could do was close his eyes as Date kissed him gently on the lips.

Shintaro heard himself make a strangled noise and he held Date's hands tight when it seemed he might let go. 

Date sighed. "I wanted to do that before I left."

"But you thought the surgery was going to fail. That's what you meant earlier."

"It seemed cruel to raise anyone's hopes."

"Including your own."

"Yeah." Date tried again to pull his hands free.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I know you're angry—"

Shintaro growled. "Of course I'm angry. But that doesn't mean you get to walk away after...that."

Date sat very still, watching him with a wary expression.

"Damn it, I wanted to kiss you too." Shintaro shook his head, then threw himself against Date, knocking them both over, and kissed Date senseless.

Eventually they curled up properly under the covers, holding on to each other and occasionally stealing another kiss. Shintaro didn't think he was going to sleep again this night, but that was okay. He had a feeling he might be on the mend now.

Although, there was one thing... "In the dreams..." Shintaro said slowly.

Date pulled him tighter against his chest and waited, running a hand through Shintaro's hair.

"In the dreams, I take the driver and you die afterward. It's never...the way it really happened. I don't know why."

"Oh, that's easy." Date shrugged the shoulder under his head. "You're projecting. You're worried that taking Birth away hurt me the way it would have hurt you. The way it _did_ hurt you."

Shintaro thought about that for a while, listening to the heartbeat under his ear. "But it didn't hurt you."

"I was proud of you." Date kissed the top of his head. "Proud of how you worked to become Birth. Grateful you took it so I could leave."

"I didn't think about that." Tilting his head, he looked at Date. "I never thought that you might have put the surgery off to stay here."

"Don't." Date shook his head. "I'm not selfless, like you."

"If you think I'm selfless, you're deluded."

"You wanted Birth to save people. I wanted Birth to save myself." 

"Wanting to live isn't a crime." Shintaro pushed himself up on an elbow. "You've spent your life saving people and risking your life in war zones. You deserve to live. I just wanted to show everyone I was strong enough to do it."

Date paused. "Maybe we should both try being a little easier on ourselves."

Shintaro couldn't help chuckling at that. "You might be right."

Grinning, Date pulled him back down. "That starts with getting some proper rest."

"Yes, Doctor."

"Careful or I'll give you an examination," Date said, swatting his shoulder. 

"Is that a threat or a promise?"

Date threw his head back and laughed. Shintaro just smiled and held on tighter.

\--end--


End file.
